California Cops Smoke Weed to Survive the Weedpocalypse
2018 is rapidly approaching, my friends. The Weedpocalypse is here! Will you fight the Zombie Hordes, or just try to fit in? I can see the headlines now: “California Cops Smoke Weed to survive.” If Rick Grimes can cover himself in zombie guts to live, what will I have to do to be Family Safe First?
Lolz aside, the Weedpocalypse is real. The legalization of marijuana raises many questions for cops. One of the most interesting is if the headlines come true and cops smoke weed. I see two main arguments against it, but let’s look at these arguments and get to the truth of the matter. (Hint: it has to do with beards). Feel free to evicerate me in the comments. This is how we learn.
Argument 1: Cops Smoking Weed is against Federal law
As law enforcement, I KNOW how much the laws mean. I spend every waking hour trying to figure out how to make law real and convince people a red Stop sign is an eldritch and powerful symbol. Realistically it can only do so much. Same with the federal government.
Yes. Smoking weed is against federal law, but the Feds don’t enforce personal use. States do. There’s less than 5000 Special Agents in the DEA. Those poor overworked guys are losing their minds chasing the hard, lethal, illegal stuff. Weed being legal here undercuts the authority of the federal government in empowering the law, which they barely have the manpower for anyway.
I don’t have to like this fact to make it any less true. Sanctuary Cities are ignoring Federal mandates (breaking federal requirements). Hiring people illegally in the US would also count, yet it is done SO OFTEN. Especially in border states. I think this argument is dissatisfactory because it lacks consistency. Cops smoking weed would be a breach of how the Federal Government wants it done, but this wouldn’t be the first time local governments quietly ignored it like Prohibition or DOMA.
Argument 2: Cops Smoking Weed is Against Department Policy
This I’m much more comfortable with. It’s easy: THE BOSS SAID NO. Some police departments don’t even let their cops use tobacco. Heck, Bernard Parks suggested outlawing energy drinks for cops. You might as well ban cops bringing lunch to work too, but at least there can be greater consistency here.
Yet, IF it is legal for everyone to use recreationally why not let cops smoke weed? By 2018 Marijuana is set to be just as legal as alcohol. Cops can have alcohol. Why not weed? I would be more comfortable with the consistency of saying “no” if we were all supposed to be teetotalers with Central Nervous System Depressants.
Truth is this is just as much about the culture of an institution as beards. Why do people freak out over beards and turbans for cops? Culture. I can have a mustache and a baseball hat and get no questions, but the, um, eastern look would definitely light up the Watch Commander’s phone like a Christmas Tree.
It is not tradition and so it is rejected out of hand. Does a neatly trimmed beard effect job performance? New Jersey doesn’t think so. Similarly what does it matter if cops smoke weed and get high on their own time? I believe we are deeply against it because Marijuana is tightly tied to the Counter Culture of America. It goes against the self image of cops as representations of a high moral and ethical code to embrace this green cornerstone of our counter culture.
Beards we may one day accept. If the current trend of ubiquitous Marijuana use continues, Cops Smoking Weed is also an inevitability. I don’t want it, I don’t like it, but I think the Cultural truth is the real impediment to prevent Cops Smoking Weed. Unlike the movies, I don’t know if any Deus Ex Machina to save us from the Green Dawn.
Readers: should I run for the hills? There’s no point Colorado has already been overwhelmed! Do you think Marijuana use will ever be sanctioned for cops? Should it? Let the internets hear you scream in the comments below!